Face Of New Orleans

When trying to craft the perfect cocktail, fizz, or what have you, an incredibly important ingredient is ice. Most cocktailians will recommend that if you don’t have a kold draft machine, that you purchase your ice at the store in bags. I have two problems with this: 1)bagged ice is a rip-off. 2)the water that goes into most store ice is not as purified as the reverse osmosis water that I drink. So, the problem remains, how does one get perfect, clear ice at home? The answer lies in two parts. Part one: is solved by using this product. These ice cube trays from Tovolo are perfect cubes and they are silicone and are available at Bed, Bath, And Beyond. That all adds up to wonderfulness. Part two: boil your water before you pour it into your new ice cube trays. This might seem counterintuitive, but boiling your water allows you to achieve clear ice because the heating process gets rid of dissolved gasses in the water. Also, boiling water can freeze faster in some conditions due to the Mpemba effect. So rejoice, and be free of the burden of purchasing something that you can make better in your home. But just remember to seal your ice up so it doesn’t take on any weird odors from your freezer.

That is all children.

An open letter to our government: Please, neglect New Orleans, further than you already have. I beg you, try to make the city flood to 20 feet. I realize you may be confused and a bit angry at this request, and that is understandable. The reason I deplore you to do so is that, eventually, you will get tired of trying to squash us out. Because, you see dear officials, we can’t bury our dead 6 foot deep like everywhere else. Most people will tell you that because of the city being below sea level, the caskets float from the soil, but they are misinformed. Their bodies just miss the taste of good red beans and rice too much. So please, wear yourselves out on trying to break us. It should prove humorous for us to watch.